In my roller-coaster life journey of “ups and downs,” I’ve tried to scour for meaning and devised “10 things to remember when depressed by challenges and struggles.” They have served as my guideposts during rock-bottom moments, and I hope they would do the same for you. 1. The past cannot be changed, but we can...
Ensuring a happy end of life for a loved one
Dear Cathy and Mark, My 82-year-old father was recently diagnosed with end-stage heart failure. His doctor informed us that he would likely not survive another year. My mother is 78 and has a number of medical ailments, but overall is in good health. My parents have adequate health insurance to cover my father’s medical care....
How to make a long-distance relationship work
Dear Cathy and Mark, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We officially got together a few months before the pandemic. Thankfully, our love survived it. Recently, he was accepted into a graduate studies program in New York. He will be there for two years. I know we have all the tools...
Life (and death) on the edge
SYDNEY—On the premise that the best way to explore a place is on foot, Sydney in Australia fares well on travel experts’ lists of most walkable cities in the world. Road quality, safety, convenience, and the wonders of nature are among their indices. There’s a range of walks to choose from—bushwalking, dog-friendly circuits, wilderness...
Dealing with dad and ‘the long goodbye’
Dear Cathy & Mark, Our 80-year-old father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years ago. Around a year and a half ago, our mother died of Covid-19. At the time of her passing, our dad’s Alzheimer’s was diagnosed to be at a moderate level. It has progressed much since. There are days when he asks where...
‘Undas’ and life after life (not death)
What’s the meaning or derivation of the local word “Undas,” referred to in English as All Souls’ Day? In Mexico, “Dia de los Muertos” means “Day of the Dead,” which in Tagalog is “Araw ng mga Patay o Namayapa.” In Spain, “honra” means “honor” or “respect”—hence, “to respect or honor the dead.” In the Philippine...
Single parent, 52, wonders if she should date again
EDITOR’S NOTE: CoverStory is launching “Two for the Road,” an advice column on life, love, and loss. Cathy is in private practice as a grief, loss, and transitions coach. She is an author of four books, two of them on grief. Mark has been a registered nurse for 47 years and is an educator specializing...
Choose to live in the present moment
Finding happiness in life is living in the present moment, neither grieving over the past nor being anxious about the future. This is because life unfolds in the present. Living in the present moment—or “mindfulness,” as others call it—is a state of active, open, intentional, and (most important) nonjudgmental attention or awareness of the present. ...
End of the world? Worry more about our own ‘end’
Actually, it’s a no-brainer. Being cautious about our own “end” (cessation or demise) rather than fretting about the world’s apocalypse is but the more pragmatic option. In all likelihood, our own end will come first than that of the end of the world or the universe. Let’s first qualify the word “end” and why we’re...
From pandemic to epic: amazing graces
SYDNEY—Up till boarding time at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, I continued to receive calls and text messages from friends wanting to know if I was proceeding with my trip. My departure for my nth visit to my daughter Giselle in Sydney would have been uneventful if not for the concern roused by news about...