But, on the contrary, I find the following words from an anonymous sage on social media profoundly captivating:

“Happiness does not create gratitude. Gratitude creates happiness. Gratitude is your foundation for all that you want. It is inevitable that you will have to overcome obstacles, so you must stay strong and humble. If things don’t work out for you, or you don’t get what you want, you learn to be more appreciative of what you already have.”

I like to think then that, most likely, being grateful for what we have can help us manifest what we want.

But even if we don’t manifest what we want, by itself, being grateful for what we have can already make a mountain of difference. In other words, being grateful for what we have is happiness itself.

Yes, an ounce of gratitude even for the little that we have is already a pound of happiness. It can be said then that nobody, nobody at all, is ever deprived totally of happiness! So true, because nobody, and nobody, among all of us who’ve been lovingly created by God, is totally deprived of anything. We’re not nothing at all. 

Virtue of existence

And, hence, by virtue of our existence or “essence” (if not, “being”), we have every reason to be grateful—and thus be happy. What makes people unhappy is their craving for more, and not being appreciative of what they already have.

We may differ in terms of “having” or “doing.” But we’re neither merely a “human having” nor a “human doing.” We’re defined neither by our “position or status” nor by our “possessions.” What makes us equal under God is that we’re a “human BEING”—a being equally created in all aspects, a being endowed with intellect and free choice, a being worthy of a happy and meaningful life. 

Even in physiological terms, contemporary science claims that gratitude can generate smooth, rhythmic heart coherence. According to the California-based HeartMath Institute, a non-profit research organization dedicated to neurocardiology, accessing coherent heart rhythms through the conscious generation of gratitude has numerous health benefits, including increased resilience to stress, a higher degree of foresight, improved memory, clearer thinking, more energy, and even greater hormonal balance.

Not only do we gain benefits from being grateful for what we have or for the things that serve us—but also from the things that challenge us. American chiropractor, Dr. Tom Pastor, who focuses heavily on the influence of emotions on physical conditions, explains: “Gratitude is about appreciating the elements of any situation. It’s easy to be grateful for things that directly benefit us. It tends to be more difficult to be grateful for a struggle. If we can learn to develop the ability to be more appreciative of the things that challenge us, we will be stronger and more adaptable in the long run.”

The late America’s Got Talent golden buzzer winner who succumbed to cancer, Nightbirde (Jane Marcrewski), cannot be more right when she said: “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”

So, be happy we should! That is, by being grateful for what we have, and even for our trials and struggles. And the more we are grateful, the more we will find things to be grateful for.

The post Be grateful, we’re not nothing at all appeared first on CoverStory.

The German existentialist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, in positing that humans suffer for a reason, argued that we can deduce meaningfulness or indicators of “good things” from our struggles and suffering, and eventually attain our “greatness.”

Similarly, Arthur Schopenhauer, also a German philosopher, postulated that “suffering and misfortune are the general rule in life, not the exception.”

The Stoic philosophers encapsulated their view by saying that we should be indifferent to suffering and deem it something morally irrelevant.

The Humanists think that suffering grounds the possibility of ethics through compassion, while Christians see suffering as part of God’s salvific plan.

Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist and author of “Man’s Search for Meaning,” declared: “Man’s main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but rather to see meaning in his life.”

But, in our contemporary secular setting, given indeed that LIFE IS HARD, is there a way to find HAPPINESS?

I came across this recently published book, “Life is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way,” authored by Kieran Setiya, a professor of philosophy at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Setiya is known for his work in ethics, epistemology, and the philosophy of mind.

In his book—which was named Book of the Year by The New Yorker and The Economist magazines—Setiya offers some refreshing insights on how we can find our way to happiness amid the hardness of life.

Here are three insightful excerpts from his book:

Acknowledgment comes first. Given indeed the undeniable fact that life in its entirety is not easy and that struggles and suffering are sine qua non or part and parcel of life, Setiya states that the first step in finding our way in life is acknowledging life’s adversity or affliction.

Paying attention to—and not denying—what is happening in our life is the better part of knowing what to do. Thus, Setiya quotes novelist-philosopher Iris Murdoch: “I can only choose within the world I can see—in the moral sense, ‘see’—moral imagination and moral effort.”

Don’t just aim to be happy, but aim to live well. For Setiya, being happy is not the same as living well. Happiness is a subjective state, while living well is living positively even amid grief or warts and all.

“The truth is that we should not aim to be happy but to live as well as we can. I do not mean we should strive to be unhappy, or to be indifferent to happiness, but there is more to life than how it feels. The unhappiness of grief and the anger at injustice are not things we would be better off without. In living well, we cannot extricate justice from self-interest or divide ourselves from others. Our task is to face adversity as we should,” says Setiya.

In short, according to Setiya, we have to live in the world as it is, not the world as we wish it would be.

Value the process. Setiya points out that because life is always an ongoing work, if not a never-ending “work in progress,” happiness is found in each moment of the process—and not in the completion of a goal or the attainment of results.

“It’s not that results don’t matter, because they do. But if we invest in the process, what we value isn’t extinguished by our engagement with it; it isn’t archived or deferred, but fully realized in the present,” Setiya writes.

In sum, life is not a destination but indeed a journey. Let us live and savor each moment of the journey—and be happy!

Read more: Let us embrace the 4 Ls of life

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More often than not, we wish to be like others or even better than our more successful peers and friends. We focus on their success, such that we fail to notice our own greatness.

In other words, we see only the external indicators of the success of others—their impressive houses, high-paying jobs, glamorous careers, flourishing businesses, influential positions, etc.—and, worse, make their success the measure of our own. At the very least, we forget to ask ourselves: “With all they have, are they truly happy?” Or: “Would we be truly happy if we have what they have?”

Still, we often hear the admonition: “Do not compare yourself to others.”

But the fact is that we cannot help comparing ourselves with others. After all, each one of us was born into a different set of circumstances of which we had neither choice nor control.

As we grew up, not all of us enjoyed the same resources and opportunities. We don’t get to attain exactly the same level of recognition and success either. Indeed, as I write, each and every one of us still lives under different sets of circumstances.

The problem with comparing ourselves with others is that, in most instances, we tend to focus on the “negatives.” How better others are than us. How more financially and materially blessed others are than us. How more talented and skilled others are than us. How “luckier” others are than us. How more successful others are than us. Et cetera, et cetera.

It is indeed a problem when we make others the barometer of our own success and self-fulfillment, and we fall short by that measure.

But wait: It is important to realize that by virtue of our divine origin and design, each of us is endowed with some inherent greatness. Each one is divinely endowed with individual gifts and purpose.

To restate our opening maxim, “Ens est unum, bonum, verum, et pulchrum.” Every being is one, good, true and beautiful.

Hence, our own greatness lies in our individual uniqueness, purpose and gifts. Each of us is God’s unique miracle, as shown by our unique palm—and fingerprints or marks. All we have to do is find and discover our unique gifts, which can be gleaned from our individual life-purpose.

By acknowledging and valuing our individual uniqueness, purpose and gifts, we can likewise positively recognize and respect, and not be envious of, those of others.

In this manner, we can positively realize as well that being “here” or “there” in comparison with others is a matter of difference not so much in terms of the level of success we have reached as in terms of our personal happiness and relationships.

Ah, Pablo Picasso could not have said it better: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give [your gift] away.”

Read more: Life as a journey on an iconic two-wheeler

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In my roller-coaster life journey of “ups and downs,” I’ve tried to scour for meaning and devised “10 things to remember when depressed by challenges and struggles.” They have served as my guideposts during rock-bottom moments, and I hope they would do the same for you. 

1. The past cannot be changed, but we can in the present choose and act on our future. You don’t have to cry over a failed or unhappy past; it’s gone. Neither should you stress yourself about the future; it hasn’t arrived yet. What you can do is live in the present and make it beautiful. 

The past can’t be altered, yes. But you can, at present, choose and start to act on what you desire for the future. #Depression Tips

2. Everyone’s journey is different; if there’s a reason for your struggle, there’s also a reason not to give up. In moments of challenges, you don’t have to complain, “Why me?” Remember, each one’s journey is unique and different.

As there’s always a reason for everything, so it is for your struggle. Find “meaning” in your suffering and it will alleviate your pain. 

There must also be a reason not to give up. It might be your loved ones—family or kin—who can be your inspiration to persist and persevere. Or even other people, who inspire you or are inspired by you. Or your magnificent dream or a purpose you have yet to achieve—that’s reason enough not to give up. #Depression Tips

3. You can only fail when you quit, and mistakes aren’t completely mistakes. The only time you can fail is when you give up. The moment you say you can’t is the moment you stop being able to.

The biggest mistake some people can ever make is to be too afraid to make one. But mistakes are not completely mistakes; they, in fact, offer plenty of lessons. #Depression Tips

Related: Need help? There’s ‘Thank God It’s Wednesday’

4. Struggles and challenges are opportunities for growth. Pain and struggles are part and parcel of life; they are opportunities for learning, growth, and transformation. The safest path is not always the most convenient or the best. The more challenges, the more you learn and grow. The best thing you can gain from challenges is not the thing you want, but the “person” you become in the process. #Depression Tips

5. Nothing is permanent, and things always get better with time. No matter how miserable and hateful your situation, it is not permanent; it will pass. And as life changes every second, things always get better with time—including you. You, too, can choose to change for the better. #Depression Tips

6. Happiness is found within. As has often been said, don’t look for happiness in others’ successes. You have your own greatness and strengths. Happiness is not found in “possessions” or “positions.” It can’t be found outside; it can only spring from within you. #Depression Tips

7. Positive thoughts create positive realities, and what goes around comes around. Negative thoughts inevitably engender negative results; positive thoughts create positive realities. You may not be capable of changing what is actually happening to you, but you can choose how to react positively from within to what is happening to you.

As the saying goes, “what goes around comes around” or “what you sow is what you reap.” So, think or do good, and you receive good. #Depression Tips

8. Opinions don’t define reality, and judgments are a confession of character. If you’re scoffed at or derided by other people, worry not, for their opinions do not define who you are. Besides, people who are wont to make unfair judgments only speak of who they actually are. Don’t judge people by their “cover” for they are not a book. #Depression Tips

9. Worrying can’t change anything, and overthinking leads to sadness. If there is anything that kills more people faster than any dreaded pandemic, it is worrying. You can’t change anything by worrying. In the same vein, thinking can only lead to more thinking or overthinking and, therefore, to more questions. More often than not, overthinking in moments of despair can only lead to sadness. #Depression Tips

10. Always P.R.A.Y. (Pull back, Reflect, Act, Yield to God’s grace) and nurture an “attitude of gratitude.” Prayer is the best antidote to any problem. And, as has been often said, the highest form of prayer is giving thanks, so always be grateful for what you have. Count your blessings. #Depression Tips

What St. Teresa of Avila said is truly spot on: “Let nothing worry you. Let nothing distract you. Whoever has God will lack for nothing. Only God suffices.”

Bob Acebedo writes a column in the weekly OpinYon (https://opinyon.net). —Ed.

The post 10 things to remember when depressed by challenges appeared first on CoverStory.

Living in the present moment—or “mindfulness,” as others call it—is a state of active, open, intentional, and (most important) nonjudgmental attention or awareness of the present. 

But, more often than not, we let the present slip away, as we worry about the future and ruminate about the past. At work, many of us find ourselves fantasizing about being on vacation, and, while on vacation, we worry about work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future.

Choosing to live in the past or the future not only robs you of enjoyment today, it also robs you of truly living.

How do we go about living in the present moment? Here are some tips:

Appreciate and savor the moments of today. Relish or luxuriate in the real aspects of today—the sights, the sounds, the emotions, the triumph, the joy and the sorrow.

Forgive past hurts. Acknowledge what happened. Let go of any grudge or resentment for your “own sake,” and move forward.

Appreciate your work or what you’re regularly doing. With your job, be it at your home or your workplace, if you feel just having “survived” the workweek by just waiting for the weekend to come, you’re probably wasting some 70% (5/7 days) of your life. If you don’t find yourself in your work or in what you’re doing, you’re missing your “presence” in the moment.

Stop worrying about the future; do your best and enjoy today. Don’t be anxious about the future. It will come according to how you handle the present. Work hard, enjoy, and make the most of the present, because a successful tomorrow is a well-done and happily spent today.   

Related: Growing old and transitioning to retirement

But still, others are wont to complain: “How can we live in or savor the present when it is the present that is problematic, filled with pain, anxiety, and uncertainty?

Here’s a wise piece of advice: If something unpleasant is bothering you in the present, move toward it rather than away from it. 

The mind’s natural tendency when faced with pain is to attempt to avoid it. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can’t be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies the pain. 

Thus, the solution in trying to live in a painful present is acceptance—that is, being open to the way things are in the moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience, judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away.

Acceptance of the present moment is neither solving nor taking away the problem, but it relieves you of needless extra suffering. Acceptance of an unpleasant moment is not giving up on your goals or dreams. It is accepting the present loss or drawback. But it should not deter you from trying again or continuing to pursue your dream.

In sum, living in the present is embracing both the joy and sorrow of the moment. Continue to learn, grow, and experience one moment at a time. Live in the present and make it beautiful, because a meaningful life is made up of well-spent moments. 

Bob Acebedo writes a column in OpinYon weeklies (https://opinyon.net). —Ed.

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